It’s that time again! Once again, I team up with Miami Heat Blogger, @Miami_Heat_index, and bring you our fanalyst rankings each week through the playoffs. MHI plays the asshole fanatic to my fanalyst. You can find his Eastern Conference Rankings HERE along with my replies.
1. San Antonio Spurs: They are just too LETHAL for the Jazz. I look for them to go 3-0 in the first week of round one. Tim Duncan will be the impact player of this series and SAS is too cohesive, experienced and, more importantly, they have a healthy Manu coming off of the Bench.
MHI: So you’ve gone from calling the Spurs old & done to picking Tim Duncan as the impact player in a playoff series? LMAO! I didn’t know being right about something could feel so good.
2. OKC Thunder: With James Harden cleared for take off, I look for OKC to go 2-1, possibly 3-0 this week. KD + RW + JH + Ibaka is too much offensiveness, plus a block party, for the worn down Dallas.
MHI: Russell Westbrook will be on a mission to retire Jason Kidd this week and it won’t be pretty. Do you know what Kevin Durant thinks when he sees the Mavs lineup? He thinks he can get an easy 40.
3. Memphis Grizzlies: They will go 2-0 this week, while LAC have two AWESOME players in CP3 and Blake Griffin, Memphis is the BETTER team. Dunks won’t win a playoff round.
MHI: Grizzlies will get stunned in Game 1 at home, bounce back in Game 2 and get posterized in Game 3 at Staples. Mike Conley will be reminded that he’s one of the Children of a Lesser God and Z-Bo’s hobbled, below-the-rim game won’t allow Lionel Hollins to keep him on the floor against that Clippers frontline.
4. L.A. Lakers: They will go 2-1 this week UNLESS Bynum decides to chuck up three-pointers. However, homecourt at Staples is no JOKE.
MHI: GTFOH… Lakers roll 3-0 this week. As long as Bynum doesn’t beat JaVale McGee to the Shaqtin’ A Fool highlights and Kobe’s wife isn’t fucking up Pau Gasol’s relationship, they won’t have any problems with the Nuggets.
5. L.A. Clippers: Although Memphis will win their two games this week, Chris Paul and company will make them work for it.
MHI: Did you see CP3 DUNKING this week? His game will go to another level the first week of the playoffs and he’ll get there by stepping on Mike Conley’s head. Blake Griffin will have 1 question for Marc Gasol: “Tell me how my nuts taste?”
6. Denver Nuggets: Denver is a team that can and will surprise many. Denver could EASILY steal game 1 or game 2 at Staples and Cleveland Brown is Cleveland Brown. Watch for the X-factor in Kenneth Faried aka Manimal.
MHI: *dies laughing* R.I.P.
7. Dallas Mavericks: There is a CHANCE that Dirk could go into the playoff with the 2011 NBA Playoffs Dirk mentality, but I’m not betting on it. Hope Cuban lands Deron or Dwight.
MHI: Is there a CHANCE Jason Kidd can go back to 2002 & Vince Carter to 2001, too?
8. Utah Jazz: Utah Jazz came to the playoffs just to be swept…..but you know what?? The Jazz will win one game, so a ‘gentleman’s sweep’ will be in effect.
MHI: Contrary to what your old man fetish allows you to believe, Al Jefferson will DO WORK against Tim Duncan. Devin Harris, however, will get embarrassed by Tony Parker.